In the wake of the recent uproar about an anti-co-sleeping ad campaign, I wanted to ask Dr. Linda Palmer (author of The Baby Bond), her take on the controversy.
For those of you who missed it, in November 2011, an ad campaign was launched in Wisconsin. Here is just one of the ads:
As expected, she had a few interesting points to make about it. Click below to listen to her take on the campaign.
Excerpt from Interview with Dr. Linda Folden Palmer – Cosleeping
What I found was so interesting about this conversation, was the idea that safe co-sleeping needs to be the message. And how big is the risk of infant death from co-sleeping when it is done consciously and deliberately, and not by accident (due to drugs, or alcohol, or passing out on a couch with your baby). I was amazed that even including those accidental (from people who do not normally co-sleep) deaths, that the risk of that is lower than the risk of dying from circumcision.
Let’s put that into perspective.
What is the circumcision rate in the US today? I went to look, and found different numbers, varying from 33% to 55%. In reality, according to this site, the numbers vary by state, and the hospitals are not legally allowed to report on how many they perform. In any case, let’s just say it is “a lot.” So I find it interesting that there is a campaign against co-sleeping, with less chance of death even given the accidental deaths, and not one focused on educating around what is considered to be a routine practice for many infant boys.
It reminds me of something I read about 10 years ago, when I was just about to compete in the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon. (This is slightly off topic, but you’ll get my point.) Statistically, you have a greater chance of dying from a dog bite, than from a shark attack. So if people were smart, rather than run OUT of the water when there is a shark sighting, they should be running INTO the water when they see a dog on the beach. What are YOU focusing on? Is it where you should be putting your energy?
In any case, when we see things such as this ad campaign, that are based on scare tactics, it is important as parents that we a) don’t take it at face value and b) ask the real questions such as “what is the motivation behind this?” Or “how real is this threat to me and my baby? Or “does this feel right to me in my heart?”
This campaign has gotten people talking, and BOY are they talking. While I think the campaign is crude, misleading, and cringe-worthy, I am grateful that it has gotten people talking about the subject of co-sleeping, and is it safe.
Jake co-slept with us…from the time he came home from the NICU until he weaned from nursing at 2.5 years old. Our friends and family found it shocking and openly disapproved – of everything (co-sleeping, nursing and nursing until he was almost a preschooler), but it was our family choice and we’ve never regretted it. So blessed to have him in our lives and to have shared wonderful moments in our family bed.
How wonderful, Kris, that you listened to your heart as a mom. While it’s a seemingly easy choice to follow your instinct, It’s not always easy to follow through with….well-meaning family and friends feel the need to put in their two cents, and it makes for a tough situation. I nursed until my daughter turned 3 (weaned her on her 3rd birthday) and understand what you probably went through (also co-slept for a long time as well). I know no matter what I choose for me, others won’t understand, and therefore, I also just try to allow others to have their parenting journey. And it’s truly a journey, mostly of self discovery, for us as parents. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Erika, …love this post. I coslept from day one with both of my children, now 2.5 & 4.5 -it felt completely natural and right, my daughter Ava went to her own bed at age 2 and her brother is still with me in his bed every night,…he is 2 1/2. He also still nurses, in the evenings.
I feel like lots of women co-slept,…but wouldn’t talk about it, or admit it. It was weird. The need to hide what they were doing. …and the peer/outside pressure to quit breastfeeding at an earlier age is CRAZY. Crazy.
I love your blog sweet girl,…keep on keeping on!
Jessica
Jessica, I’m so with you. I think it’s such a shame that parents have to “parent in the closet” – as moms we should be able to support each other through this journey, not judge. I nursed my daughter until she was 3, and would do it all over again if I had the chance. You should have seen the people on the airplane when I nursed her as a toddler….raised eyebrows…but not one complaint that she was ever a screaming baby on the plane…hmmmmm….. 🙂 Thanks for your support and feedback!