Do smart phones and children belong together?

Ipods, smart phones, Facebook, digital video, the Internet.

Mind you, when I was a child, we didn’t even have cordless phones until high school.

Up until about 20 years ago, nobody would ever call someone and immediately ask, “Where are you?”

Um…I’m standing in my kitchen talking on the phone that’s attached to the wall…. where else would I be?

Nowadays, it’s getting so darn complicated for parents.    I can’t call my mom and ask “Tell me how you handled it when I asked you for a cell phone so I could text my friends pictures of me any time I want to?”  We didn’t have these devices when we were their age, so there is no personal experience to draw upon here.

This is a scenario I am not quite ready for.

I haven’t had this scenario, but I have had a taste of things to come – sooner than I’ve wanted.

My ex-husband gave my 6 year old an I-touch.

(No discussion with me as to whether it’s appropriate to give a 6 year old this device, but that is another story.)

I do have to make sure it is on airplane mode when she comes back from his house as he connects to his wifi and she would not be safe from the Internet that way, and can’t accidentally connect to the App Store and purchase $200 worth of games.

Just this past weekend, she decided she was into making movies, and walked around videotaping me when I didn’t know it. Including one time I was bending over to get something from underneath the bed, and let me tell you, it was NOT pretty.

It’s becoming very clear that I need to come up with a game plan and strategy around this thing.

There have been many interesting discussions online recently about teaching parents how to teach their child the importance of managing their online reputation.  Silly things that a 14 year old posts on Facebook will become a permanent record of their “reputation.”  The connectedness and visibility, and the PERMANENCE of our childhood transgressions, and personal lives, is quite alarming.

As conscious parents, we need to look past the obvious, of how these devices can add convenience and are useful tools, to the challenges of when these things are appropriate, and then also how we teach our children about the importance of responsibility that should come with their use.

That said, I am eager to hear from other parents.

• Do you allow your child a cell phone?  Why or why not?
• If you allow one, do you limit its functionality?
• What conversations have you had with your children about being responsible with their technology?  What has worked?  What HASN’T worked?
• I also am eager to hear about parents with ex-spouses who are more permissive than they should be with these things – how do you handle two households with 2 different sets of rules around technology?

In the meantime, I’m taking matters into my hands as best as I can at the moment.  So the other day, I handed my ex the Itouch and said, “This thing is not allowed in our home.  Please leave it at yours.”

Please share your comments and ideas below!